Either Way, the devastatingly raw ballad by Chris Stapleton, is a song about the absolute end of a relationship. It details a love that is not just broken, but has evaporated completely, leaving behind only apathy and emotional numbness. The song, from his 2017 album From a Room: Volume 1, describes a couple who are still living together but are emotionally divorced. The narrator is so far “past the point of give a damn” that it doesn’t matter to him if his partner stays or leaves. His love is gone, and he “won’t love you either way.”
The Core Meaning: A Portrait of Apathy
The central theme of “Either Way” is not anger, hate, or betrayal. Its true meaning is far more tragic: it is about complete and total apathy. This is not a song about a fiery breakup. It is a song about the cold, silent, and empty space that is left when all feelings have died.
The song paints a portrait of a couple who are merely “playing house.” They are two roommates, not two lovers. The relationship is a hollow shell, and the narrator has finally accepted this fact. He is not fighting for the love to return; he is acknowledging that it is gone forever.
This emotional numbness is the most heartbreaking part of the song. The narrator is not bitter; he is just empty. He is in a state of emotional limbo, and the song is his quiet, tired admission that he has nothing left to give.
Deconstructing the Silence: An Empty Home
The song’s story begins with a haunting visual. The two partners pass each other in the hallway. They are on their way to “separate rooms,” a powerful symbol of their emotional and physical distance. They live in the same house, but they are worlds apart.
This single image tells the entire story. There is no intimacy, no connection, and no shared life. They are just two ghosts occupying the same space.
The song then explains the only time they even speak. Their sole connection is not over love or life; it’s over “monthly bills.” Their relationship has been reduced to a functional, financial arrangement. It is a business partnership, not a romance. This detail highlights just how far they have fallen. All the passion and conversation have been replaced by logistics.
The Public Fake vs. The Private Truth
The song masterfully contrasts the couple’s public life with their private reality. To the outside world, they are a normal, functioning couple. They still “go to work” and “go to church.” They are upholding their responsibilities and maintaining appearances.
They “fake the perfect life.” This is a key part of their shared trap. They are putting on a performance for their friends, their family, and their community. This performance is a lie, and it only serves to make their private isolation feel even more profound.
The narrator then confesses his internal state. He is “past the point of give a damn.” This is the song’s emotional thesis. He has no anger, no fight, and no hope left. He has simply given up.
He follows this with one of the saddest lines in music: “all my tears are cried.” This shows that his apathy is not his natural state. It is an earned numbness. He used to care. He used to be sad. He used to cry over the loss of their love. But he has been in this state for so long that his grief has simply run dry. The grieving process for his relationship is already over, even though he is still in it.
The Heartbreaking Ultimatum: A Choice That Isn’t a Choice
The chorus of “Either Way” presents a choice to his partner, but it is a false one. The outcome is the same regardless of what she decides.
He lays out the two options. The first is that they “can just go on like this.” They can continue faking the perfect life, living as roommates, and pretending for the sake of… something. This is the path of least resistance, the one they are already on.
The second option is that she can “say the word, we’ll call it quits.” He gives her the power to officially end the charade. He is so apathetic that he will not even make the decision to leave himself. He is essentially telling her that he will stay or go, whatever she wants.
Why? Because of the final, devastating hook: “I won’t love you either way.” This line is the ultimate tragedy. It confirms that his love is not conditional. It’s not something she can win back. It is gone. Dead. Irretrievable.
This chorus is not a threat. It is not an ultimatum designed to get a reaction. It is a simple, exhausted statement of fact. He is offering his partner the choice of what to do with the “body” of their dead relationship, because he no longer has the energy to even care.
The Anatomy of Numbness: A Heart That Can’t Feel
The song’s second verse dives deeper into the narrator’s emotional state. He explains that it has been “so long since I’ve felt anything” inside their home. The “walls” are both literal and metaphorical. The house is cold, and so is his heart.
He then delivers a profound psychological truth: “You can’t hate and you can’t hurt / When you don’t feel at all.” This explains why the song has no anger. He is not lashing out at his partner because he is beyond the ability to feel hate. He is also beyond the ability to be hurt by her. He is completely, emotionally insulated.
This line is crucial because it separates “Either Way” from a typical breakup song. A typical breakup song is full of pain or anger. This song exists in the void after all that pain has subsided, leaving nothing behind.
The Burnout of a Heart: How He Got This Way
Just as the listener might think the narrator is simply a cold, unfeeling person, the song provides the crucial backstory. He was not always this way.
He sings that he “used to cry and stay up nights” and “wonder what went wrong.” This is a flashback to a time when he was still fighting for the relationship. He cared so much that it kept him awake. He was heartbroken and desperate to fix what was broken.
This context is everything. It makes the song infinitely sadder. He is not a monster. He is a casualty. He is a man who loved so much, and fought so hard, and was so hurt for so long, that his heart simply shut down.
He concludes with a universal truth: “hearts can only do that for so long.” It is a perfect description of emotional burnout. He reached his limit. The apathy is not a choice; it is a scar. It is a defense mechanism from a heart that could not take any more pain.
The Song’s Secret History: A Story of Three Writers
“Either Way” is such a personal and painful song that many assume Chris Stapleton wrote it about his own life. However, the song’s history is more complex.
Stapleton did co-write the song, but he did so years before he became a household name. He wrote it in a Nashville songwriting session with two other writers: Tim James and Kendell Marvel.
Kendell Marvel has stated in interviews that the idea came from a conversation about a friend’s relationship. This friend was in a marriage that was clearly over, but neither person would leave. They were just existing.
The writers began exploring that “in-between” state. They built the song around the central idea of a love that was gone, whether the person stayed or left. The “either way” hook became the anchor for the entire song. It was a classic, perfectly crafted Nashville ballad, waiting for the right voice.
The First Version: Lee Ann Womack’s 2008 Recording
For nearly a decade, “Either Way” was a hidden gem known mostly to Nashville insiders. It was not Chris Stapleton who recorded it first.
The song was first given a voice by country music star Lee Ann Womack. She recorded it for her 2008 album, Call Me Crazy. Her version is a beautiful, traditional country ballad. It features a fuller production, with sorrowful steel guitar and a more polished arrangement.
Womack’s version is heartbreaking in its own right and showcases the incredible strength of the song’s writing. It proves that the song’s emotional power can be channeled in different ways. However, it did not become a major hit, and the song remained a powerful deep cut.
The Stapleton Reinvention: Raw, Acoustic, and Alone
When Chris Stapleton finally recorded the song for his 2017 album, From a Room: Volume 1, he took a completely different approach. This approach is what made the song a masterpiece.
The album itself is named after RCA Studio A in Nashville, the “room” where it was recorded. Stapleton and his co-producer, Dave Cobb, are famous for a raw, organic, and “live” production style. They are not interested in pop polish; they are interested in capturing a feeling.
For “Either Way,” they made a bold and brilliant decision: to strip the song down to its absolute core. There is no band. There is no steel guitar. There are no drums.
There is only Chris Stapleton and his acoustic guitar.
This production choice is the genius of the track. The song is about loneliness, emptiness, and isolation. The production makes the listener feel that. Stapleton sounds like he is alone in a dark, empty room. The silence between his guitar notes is as loud as the notes themselves. There is nothing to hide behind—no music to mask the pain in his voice.
The Vocal Performance: A Grammy-Winning Masterpiece
This stripped-down arrangement puts all the focus on one thing: Stapleton’s voice. And the performance he delivers is, without exaggeration, one of the greatest of his career.
Unlike the powerful, soaring belts of “Tennessee Whiskey,” his vocal on “Either Way” is a masterpiece of restraint. He sings in a pained, breathy, and exhausted tone. You can hear the sigh in his voice. You can feel the weight of his fatigue.
When he sings the final line, “I won’t love you either way,” his voice cracks with a quiet, devastating finality. It is not a shout; it is a whisper. It is the sound of a man giving up.
This performance was recognized for its staggering power. In 2018, “Either Way” won the Grammy Award for Best Country Solo Performance. It was a victory for a song that defied all radio trends. It was a slow, acoustic, and depressing ballad that won based on pure, undeniable artistry.
The Cultural Impact: “Either Way” as the Ultimate Anti-Love Song
“Either Way” resonated with millions of people because it gives a voice to a feeling that is rarely discussed in music. Pop music is full of songs about new love and angry breakups. It is not full of songs about the slow, agonizing death of love by apathy.
The song is brave. It is brutally honest. It does not offer a happy ending or a silver lining. It simply presents a tragic, human situation with unflinching honesty.
For anyone who has ever been in a “dead” relationship, or felt the love for someone simply fade away, this song is a validation. It says, “That feeling is real, it is tragic, and you are not alone in it.” It is the ultimate anti-love song—a song about the space where love used to be.
Final Summary: The Sound of an Empty Room
“Either Way” is more than just a sad song. It is a work of art that captures the sound of emotional desolation. It began as a perfectly crafted Nashville ballad, was first brought to life by Lee Ann Womack, and was finally perfected by its co-writer, Chris Stapleton.
With the raw, intimate production of Dave Cobb, Stapleton transformed the song into a haunting confession. It is the sound of an empty house, a separate room, and a heart that has cried its last tear.
The meaning of “Either Way” is a chilling reminder that the opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference. It is the silence that falls when no one cares enough to fight, and the devastating, quiet acceptance that no matter what happens next, the love is never coming back.