Summary
On the surface, “Today” by The Smashing Pumpkins sounds like a cheerful, uplifting anthem about having a wonderful day. However, it is one of the most famously misunderstood songs of the 1990s. In reality, “Today” is a deeply ironic and dark song written from the perspective of someone experiencing severe depression and suicidal thoughts.
The happy-sounding music is a deliberate mask for the immense pain and desperation in the lyrics, making it a harrowing cry for help disguised as a pop hit. In this article, we explore the meaning of this song, breaking down its metaphors and emotions.
The Ultimate Irony: A Happy Song About a Terrible Day
The first thing that grabs you about “Today” is its iconic opening guitar riff. It’s bright, catchy, and instantly memorable. The melody is upbeat, and the chorus feels like something you can shout along to on a sunny day. When it was released, many people embraced it as a feel-good anthem of youthful optimism. It became one of the band’s biggest hits precisely because it sounded so accessible and positive.
However, this sunny disposition is a carefully constructed illusion. Songwriter Billy Corgan intentionally used this cheerful sound to create a stark contrast with the song’s true subject matter. This contrast is the entire point of the song. It mimics the act of “saving face”—pretending everything is okay on the outside when you are falling apart on the inside. The happy music is the fake smile, and the lyrics are the dark truth hiding behind it. This powerful irony is what makes “Today” such a brilliant and haunting piece of songwriting.
“The Greatest Day”: A Celebration of an End
The chorus is built around the line, “Today is the greatest day I’ve ever known.” Coming from someone in a state of profound despair, this line is dripping with sarcasm. Why would this be the “greatest day”? Because it’s the day the suffering is planned to end. When a person is in immense, seemingly endless pain, the thought of release can feel like a relief. The song is written from the perspective of someone who has made the decision to take their own life, and in that dark mindset, that day feels “great” because it promises an escape from the pain.
The lyrics in the two main choruses highlight this grim countdown. First, he sings, “Can’t live for tomorrow / Tomorrow’s much too long,” expressing a deep impatience and inability to endure another day. Later, this shifts to, “Can’t wait for tomorrow / I might not have that long.” The subtle change shows a growing resolve. The feeling has moved from not being able to face tomorrow to a certainty that he won’t be there for it. It’s a chilling progression that is easily missed beneath the song’s catchy tune.
Violence and Desperation: “I’ll Burn My Eyes Out”
The choruses contain shockingly violent and self-destructive imagery that lays bare the narrator’s true state of mind. He sings, “I’ll burn my eyes out / Before I get out” and “I’ll tear my heart out / Before I get out.” These are not literal threats; they are powerful metaphors for the depth of his desperation. He feels completely trapped in his life and his pain.
The phrase “before I get out” is a cry of utter hopelessness. He is saying that he would rather inflict horrific pain upon himself than continue living the way he is. This is not just sadness; it’s a statement of torment. The violence of the imagery serves to shatter the illusion created by the happy-sounding music. It’s a desperate attempt to show the listener the true intensity of the pain he feels. It’s the rage and self-hatred that often accompany deep depression, a feeling that any action, no matter how destructive, is better than remaining in a state of passive suffering.
Scars and Regrets: The Painful Memories of the Verses
While the chorus expresses the desperate decision, the verses provide the reasons behind it. They are filled with images of past pain, regret, and exhaustion. The song begins with, “I wanted more / Than life could ever grant me / Bored by the chore / Of saving face.” This speaks to a deep sense of disappointment with life and, more importantly, the sheer exhaustion of pretending to be okay for the sake of others.
The second verse goes even deeper into this pain. “Pink ribbon scars / That never forget” is a haunting line. While the pink ribbon is now widely associated with breast cancer awareness, here it likely refers to scars from self-harm that are still “pink” and fresh, serving as a permanent reminder of past pain. “My angel wings / Were bruised and restrained” is a beautiful metaphor for lost potential or innocence. The narrator feels that the part of him that was good, pure, or capable of “flying” has been damaged and held down by his experiences. The line “My belly stings” adds a physical dimension to his emotional pain, a perfect description of the gut-wrenching feeling of anxiety and dread.
The Manic Plea: “I Want to Turn You On”
The song’s bridge is a sudden shift in tone, repeating the line, “I want to turn you on.” This part can be confusing, but it can be interpreted in a few ways, all of which add to the song’s complexity. On one level, it could be a sarcastic jab at the audience and the music industry. He’s delivering a catchy, “on” pop song, and this line is a cynical acknowledgment of that.
On another level, it could be a moment of manic energy. Severe depression is not always lethargic; it can sometimes involve bursts of frantic, desperate energy. This could be a last, desperate plea for connection with another person, a desire to feel something, anything, other than his own pain. The ambiguity is key. It’s a strange, almost out-of-place moment that captures the unpredictable and confusing nature of a mind in crisis. It adds to the unsettling feeling that things are not as they seem.
The True Story: A Hit Born from Despair
The dark interpretation of “Today” is not just a theory; it has been confirmed by Billy Corgan himself. He has spoken openly about the fact that he wrote the song during one of the lowest points in his life. The Smashing Pumpkins were working on their breakthrough album, Siamese Dream, but Corgan was struggling with intense writer’s block, pressure from the record label, and a deep, suicidal depression.
He said in an interview, “I was in a very bad way.” He explained that he reached a point of such hopelessness that he began planning his own suicide. It was in this headspace that he wrote “Today.” He recalled thinking, “It’s funny that I would be writing about a day that would be the greatest day, which is the day you’re going to kill yourself, which is a horrible, sad thought.” The cheerful-sounding riff came to him, and he leaned into the irony, creating a song where the music and lyrics were in direct opposition. The fact that this intensely personal and dark song became a massive radio hit remains one of the greatest ironies in modern rock history.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. Is the line “Today is the greatest day I’ve ever known” meant to be happy? No, it is deeply sarcastic. It’s sung from the perspective of a suicidal person who sees the day they plan to end their life as a “great” day because it means an end to their suffering.
2. What does the violent imagery like “I’ll burn my eyes out” mean? This is a metaphor for extreme desperation. It means the singer would rather inflict terrible physical pain on himself than continue living in his current state of emotional torment.
3. What “chore” is the singer “bored by” in the line “Bored by the chore of saving face”? The “chore” is the exhausting act of pretending to be happy and okay for the benefit of other people, hiding his true feelings of depression.
4. What could the “pink ribbon scars” represent? This is a powerful metaphor for wounds that haven’t healed. It could refer to physical scars from self-harm or deep emotional scars that are still fresh and serve as a constant reminder of past pain.
5. What is the meaning of “My angel wings / Were bruised and restrained”? This symbolizes lost innocence, purity, or potential. The singer feels that the best part of himself, his ability to be free or happy (“fly”), has been damaged and held back by life.
6. Why does the singer say “My belly stings”? This line describes the physical sensation of anxiety and emotional distress. It’s a common way to describe the gut-wrenching feeling that comes with severe stress or sadness.
7. What is the purpose of the bridge “I want to turn you on”? This line is ambiguous. It could be a sarcastic nod to writing a catchy pop song, a desperate cry for human connection, or a reflection of the manic energy that can accompany depression.
8. How does the second chorus change the meaning from the first? The line shifts from “Can’t live for tomorrow” to “Can’t wait for tomorrow / I might not have that long.” This shows a progression from feeling unable to face the future to having a resolved plan that the future won’t arrive.
9. Who is the song “Today” addressed to? The song seems to be an internal monologue, a confession of the singer’s own feelings rather than a message to a specific person.
10. Did Billy Corgan really feel this way when he wrote the song? Yes. He has confirmed in many interviews that he was in a state of severe depression and was contemplating suicide when he wrote “Today.”
11. Why does the song sound so happy if it’s so sad? The happy sound is intentional. It creates a powerful irony and mimics the act of hiding deep pain behind a cheerful exterior.
12. What does “Before I get out” refer to? “Getting out” refers to escaping his unbearable situation. In the context of the song, this most likely means escaping life itself through suicide.
13. In the outro, why is the line “Today is the greatest day” repeated so much? The repetition acts like a desperate mantra, as if the singer is trying to convince himself that his dark decision is the right one, reinforcing his grim resolve.
14. What does the line “I wanted more than life could ever grant me” reveal? It reveals a deep sense of disillusionment and disappointment with life itself, which is a root cause of the singer’s depression.
15. What does “cleanse these regrets” mean in the second verse? It means the singer has tried to get over his past mistakes and painful memories but has failed, and these regrets continue to weigh on him heavily.
16. What is the overall mood of the song, considering the music and lyrics together? The overall mood is deeply unsettling and tragic. The clash between the cheerful music and the desperate lyrics creates a feeling of profound unease and sadness.
17. How did audiences first react to the song? Many audiences initially reacted to the song’s upbeat sound, embracing it as a positive anthem without realizing the dark lyrical content.
18. Is there any hope in the song? No, the song itself is almost entirely devoid of hope. It is a portrait of despair. The hope only comes from the real-world knowledge that the songwriter, Billy Corgan, survived this dark period.
19. What makes “Today” a classic 90s alternative rock song? Its use of quiet-to-loud dynamics, fuzzy guitars, and its themes of alienation and angst, combined with the central irony, make it a defining song of the era.
20. What is the ultimate message of “Today”? The ultimate message is a stark reminder that appearances can be deceiving. The happiest-looking person can be enduring the most profound pain, and the song serves as a powerful illustration of the inner turmoil of depression.